FAMILY BUZZ
Potty Training Tips
We’ve put together some information from The Mayo Clinic and from Whittier Wildflowers staff with helpful tips on potty training.
Potty training is a major milestone. Get the facts on timing, technique and handling accidents. By Mayo Clinic Staff
Potty training is a big step for kids - and their parents. The secret to success? Timing and patience.
Potty training success hinges on physical, developmental and behavioral milestones, not age. Many children show signs of being ready for potty training between ages 18 and 24 months. However, others might not be ready until they're 3 years old. There's no rush. If you start too early, it might take longer to train your child.
Is your child ready? Ask yourself:
Can your child walk to and sit on a toilet?
Can your child pull down his or her pants and pull them up again?
Can your child stay dry for up to two hours?
Can your child understand and follow basic directions?
Can your child communicate when he or she needs to go?
Does your child seem interested in using the toilet or wearing "big-kid" underwear?
If you answered mostly yes, your child might be ready. If you answered mostly no, you might want to wait — especially if your child is about to face a major change, such as a move or the arrival of a new sibling.
Your readiness is important, too. Let your child's motivation, instead of your eagerness, lead the process. Try not to equate potty training success or difficulty with your child's intelligence or stubbornness. Also, keep in mind that accidents are inevitable and punishment has no role in the process. Plan toilet training for when you or a caregiver can devote the time and energy to be consistent on a daily basis for a few months.
When it's time to begin potty training:
Choose your words. Decide which words you're going to use for your child's bodily fluids. Avoid negative words, such as dirty or stinky.
Prepare the equipment. Place a potty chair in the bathroom or, initially, wherever your child is spending most of his or her time. Encourage your child to sit on the potty chair in clothes to start out. Make sure your child's feet rest on the floor or a stool. Use simple, positive terms to talk about the toilet. You might dump the contents of a dirty diaper into the potty chair and toilet to show their purpose. Have your child flush the toilet.
Schedule potty breaks. Have your child sit on the potty chair or toilet without a diaper for a few minutes at two-hour intervals, as well as first thing in the morning and right after naps. For boys, it's often best to master urination sitting down, and then move to standing up after bowel training is complete. Stay with your child and read a book together or play with a toy while he or she sits. Allow your child to get up if he or she wants. Even if your child simply sits there, offer praise for trying — and remind your child that he or she can try again later. Bring the potty chair with you when you're away from home with your child.
Get there — Fast! When you notice signs that your child might need to use the toilet — such as squirming, squatting or holding the genital area — respond quickly. Help your child become familiar with these signals, stop what he or she is doing, and head to the toilet. Praise your child for telling you when he or she has to go. Keep your child in loose, easy-to-remove clothing.
Explain hygiene. Teach girls to spread their legs and wipe carefully from front to back to prevent bringing germs from the rectum to the vagina or bladder. Make sure your child washes his or her hands afterward.
Ditch the diapers. After a couple of weeks of successful potty breaks and remaining dry during the day, your child might be ready to trade diapers for training pants or underwear. Celebrate the transition. Let your child return to diapers if he or she is unable to remain dry. Consider using a sticker or star chart for positive reinforcement.
If your child resists using the potty chair or toilet or isn't getting the hang of it within a few weeks, take a break. Chances are he or she isn't ready yet. Pushing your child when he or she isn't ready can lead to a frustrating power struggle. Try again in a few months.
Nap time and nighttime training typically takes longer to achieve. Most children can stay dry at night between ages 5 and 7. In the meantime, use disposable training pants and mattress covers when your child sleeps.
To handle accidents:
Stay calm. Don't scold, discipline or shame your child. You might say, "You forgot this time. Next time you'll get to the bathroom sooner."
Be prepared. Keep a change of underwear and clothing handy, especially at school or in child care.
If your child seems ready for potty training but is having difficulties, talk to your child's doctor. He or she can give you guidance and check to see if there's an underlying problem.
Dec. 11, 2021
Original article: https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/infant-and-toddler-health/in-depth/potty-training/art-20045230
Show References
1. Turner TL, et al. Toilet training. https://www.uptodate.com/contents/search. Accessed July 16, 2019.
2. Toilet training. American Academy of Pediatrics. https://patiented.solutions.aap.org/handout.aspx?gbosid=156575&resultClick=1. Accessed July 16, 2019.
3. Berkowitz CD. Toilet training: In: Berkowitz's Pediatrics: A Primary Care Approach. 5th ed. Elk Grove Village, Ill.: American Academy of Pediatrics; 2014.
From the WWP staff:
Potty Training at Whittier Wildflowers Preschool
We will work with you and your child as you are potty training. Ideally, we’d like all of the children to be potty trained before starting in the Caterpillar Class (3 year olds). Since we are caring for a whole class full of children, we are not able to spend as much time on potty training and changing after accidents as you can at home. We have set up some guidelines to make it easier for everyone.
As we change diapers we:
Ask “Are you wet? Dry? Poopy?”
Encourage the child to help pull down and up their pants, teaching that important skill.
Invite the child to sit on the toilet and see what their body needs to do.
Celebrate when they do try and when they do go potty on the toilet. You’re so big! You went pee/poop on the toilet!
When a child is keeping their diaper dry on a regular basis and using the toilet, then we’re ready for them to wear underwear at school.
Padded underwear/ training pants are helpful to start, so they don’t get their shoes and everything wet with an accident.
The teachers will remind the child to use the bathroom frequently.
Please have several changes of clothing available for your child, in case of accidents.
Have your child wear pants with an elastic waist, that are easy to pull up and down themselves. No snaps or buttons, please.
Please know that we are not able to rinse out poopy underwear, because of our health regulations. We will bag up soiled clothes and send them home to be washed.
We have child sized toilets in the preschool. We are not able to use potty chairs.
Pull-Ups:
Sometimes they add one more, unnecessary step in the process, because the child doesn’t feel uncomfortable when they are wet.
If your child does wear pull-ups, be sure they are the kind that can be refastened on the sides, otherwise the child has to take off their shoes and pants to put on a fresh one. This takes a lot of extra time.
Communication between parents/caregivers:
It’s helpful for everyone who cares for the child (parents, other family members and teachers) to all be consistent when working on potty training. Have conversations, so that everyone is “on the same page”.
Please, don’t hesitate to ask if you have any questions or need some advice on next steps with potty training. Your child is growing! We are thankful to partner with you in this milestone in your child’s development.
Parent Connect Summary - Managing Anger
Thanks Jacob and Joseah, Xavie’s parents, for facilitating our Parent Connect discussion about “Managing Anger''. Here’s a summary of what we talked about:
The word “anger” can cover many different emotions - frustration, impatience, weariness, being upset, anxious, worried, sad, etc. It’s helpful to pause and identify how you are feeling and find a way to calm yourself before exploding.
Some calming ideas: take deep breaths, hum or sing a lullaby, take a break.
Be the calm in their storm.
A common time when parents get angry with their children is getting ready in the morning - getting dressed, putting on shoes, brushing teeth, etc.
Model reasoning with your child. For example when arguing about getting ready for the day:
“Here’s my plan… let’s put on your shoes so we can go to school. What’s your plan?”
Children are growing in their independence and wanting to do things for themselves, especially at 3 and 4 years old. Stubbornness and the need for independence go hand in hand. Allow for extra time for them to do things on their own as they are able. Children want to have the power to make some choices. Do you want to wear a red shirt or blue today? Do you want to brush your teeth first or brush your hair?
Be aware of your tone of voice. Am I yelling? What message am I sending my child? Kids want to know “Am I safe?” “Do you love me?”. Even in those moments of frustration, it’s our role as the adult is to be the calm.
At WWP, we want the underlying message of every communication to be “YOU ARE BELOVED!”. Families, we’re in this together!
CALMING TECHNIQUES - FOR KIDS & ADULTS
Sometimes we all get overwhelmed with big feelings. Here are some calming techniques that our Parent Connect group came up with for grownups and for little ones.
Take care of your basic needs
Take deep breaths (more specifics below)
Drink water
Take a nap - lay down for 15 minutes
Have a healthful snack - protein, fruits, veggies
Move your body - stretch, take a walk/run
Sunshine (indoor “happy light”)
Mental health - therapy
Connect with yourself
How am I feeling right now?
Journal
Pray/ meditate - try a meditation app
Be creative - write a poem, play music, paint, knit, draw, build…
Connect with others
Call a friend
Meet for a walk/ playdate
Nurture relationships within a community, like in a faith-based community or neighborhood
Connect with nature
Garden/ have indoor plants
Pause to watch the sun rise or set
Notice the nature around you
Listen to the birds, water flowing, play meditative music
Pet a dog, cat
Ms. Ann’s dog, Daisy
More ideas for kids (and grown ups):
Comfort item - blanket, stuffed animal, etc.
Draw an angry/happy/sad picture
Take a break - be by oneself for a while, look at a book
Cuddle, rocking chair
Sensory input - “Do you need a tight squeeze?”, play with playdough, water, sand
Taking deep breaths
5 finger breaths - run one finger up and down the fingers on your other hand slowly taking a breath in as you go up the finger and blow out slowly as your finger goes down.
Blow bubbles
Blow a pinwheel
Make a breathing wand - see below
Made with toilet paper tubes and curly ribbon or streamers.
Here are some ways that we “take a break” and calm our bodies at preschool.
Exploring Kindergartens
Pre-K Families,
It’s time to explore options for Kindergarten for your child!
Minneapolis Public Schools - Free
Here's the link to the Minneapolis Public Schools Website to learn more.
There are options to choose from: your neighborhood community school and magnet schools which focus on various interests or learning styles (ex. language, arts, STEM science technology engineering math, Montessori, World school).
Minneapolis Timeline:
Beginning mid-November 2023: Explore options
Visit the website to learn more
Go tour schools
January 31, 2024: Due date to be included in the first school request lottery.
March 31, 2024: Due date to be included in the second school request lottery.
May 2024: Register at your school
Charter Schools - Free
Charter schools receive government funding but operate independently of the established local public school system. Here's a link to a directory of charter schools.
Private Christian School Options - Tuition, scholarships available
Hope Academy 2300 Chicago Ave. S. Minneapolis
Minnehaha Academy 4200 West River Parkway Minneapolis
If you don’t live in Minneapolis, please check your local school district’s website for options and timelines for enrolling.
We are happy to walk alongside you in this transition. Please see Ms. Ann if you need any advice.
Early Childhood Screening If you haven’t already, please have your child screened before Kindergarten. For Minneapolis: 612-668-3715 screen@mpls.k12.mn.us
Supporting Emotional Development
“When little people are overwhelmed with big emotions, it’s our job to share our calm not join their chaos.” ~ L.R. Knost
In early childhood, children are learning to:
Recognize and describe their own emotions “I’m frustrated!” “I’m happy!”
Show some understanding of others’ emotional expressions. A two year old may say “sad” when another child is crying.
Begin to understand the cause and effect around emotional reactions. If I knock over someone’s block tower, they get mad.
Use a variety of self-comforting behaviors and calms self when feeling strong emotions with some adult help, such as hug a stuffed animal or blanket, take deep breaths, ask for a hug.
What we can do to help support children’s emotional development? Some ideas:
Help children to name their emotions, using even more complex words as they get older. “You look upset/ frustrated/ overwhelmed. Tell me about it.”
Help your child recognize other people’s emotions. As you read books with your child, look at the pictures and talk about what the characters must be feeling and why.
It’s ok to sit with one’s feelings for awhile. Reassure your child that it’s ok to be feeling sad/worried/overwhelmed. What’s important, is what do we do with those feelings.
Help your child work through their emotions and calm their bodies (self regulate). Some ideas: a big hug, taking deep breaths, stomp your feet, draw an angry/happy/sad picture, be by oneself for awhile, look at a book, play with playdough.
If there’s a conflict, help your child use words to solve the problem. “When you did ____, it made me feel ___, let’s try ____ instead.” Model conflict resolution too.
When we’re tired, hungry, thirsty, stressed, etc., we all get easily upset. Help your child listen to what their body needs. “I see that you are getting frustrated quickly. I’m wondering if your tummy is hungry.”
Do what you need to do to stay calm too, take deep breaths, have a drink of water, listen to calming music, sing a lullaby, call someone to talk about it. Share your calm with your child!
More Resources:
"Building Social Emotional Skills at Home” from the National Assoc. for the Education of Young Children