Supporting Emotional Development
“When little people are overwhelmed with big emotions, it’s our job to share our calm not join their chaos.” ~ L.R. Knost
In early childhood, children are learning to:
Recognize and describe their own emotions “I’m frustrated!” “I’m happy!”
Show some understanding of others’ emotional expressions. A two year old may say “sad” when another child is crying.
Begin to understand the cause and effect around emotional reactions. If I knock over someone’s block tower, they get mad.
Use a variety of self-comforting behaviors and calms self when feeling strong emotions with some adult help, such as hug a stuffed animal or blanket, take deep breaths, ask for a hug.
What we can do to help support children’s emotional development? Some ideas:
Help children to name their emotions, using even more complex words as they get older. “You look upset/ frustrated/ overwhelmed. Tell me about it.”
Help your child recognize other people’s emotions. As you read books with your child, look at the pictures and talk about what the characters must be feeling and why.
It’s ok to sit with one’s feelings for awhile. Reassure your child that it’s ok to be feeling sad/worried/overwhelmed. What’s important, is what do we do with those feelings.
Help your child work through their emotions and calm their bodies (self regulate). Some ideas: a big hug, taking deep breaths, stomp your feet, draw an angry/happy/sad picture, be by oneself for awhile, look at a book, play with playdough.
If there’s a conflict, help your child use words to solve the problem. “When you did ____, it made me feel ___, let’s try ____ instead.” Model conflict resolution too.
When we’re tired, hungry, thirsty, stressed, etc., we all get easily upset. Help your child listen to what their body needs. “I see that you are getting frustrated quickly. I’m wondering if your tummy is hungry.”
Do what you need to do to stay calm too, take deep breaths, have a drink of water, listen to calming music, sing a lullaby, call someone to talk about it. Share your calm with your child!
More Resources:
"Building Social Emotional Skills at Home” from the National Assoc. for the Education of Young Children
