FAMILY BUZZ
Parent Connect Summary - Managing Anger
Thanks Jacob and Joseah, Xavie’s parents, for facilitating our Parent Connect discussion about “Managing Anger''. Here’s a summary of what we talked about:
The word “anger” can cover many different emotions - frustration, impatience, weariness, being upset, anxious, worried, sad, etc. It’s helpful to pause and identify how you are feeling and find a way to calm yourself before exploding.
Some calming ideas: take deep breaths, hum or sing a lullaby, take a break.
Be the calm in their storm.
A common time when parents get angry with their children is getting ready in the morning - getting dressed, putting on shoes, brushing teeth, etc.
Model reasoning with your child. For example when arguing about getting ready for the day:
“Here’s my plan… let’s put on your shoes so we can go to school. What’s your plan?”
Children are growing in their independence and wanting to do things for themselves, especially at 3 and 4 years old. Stubbornness and the need for independence go hand in hand. Allow for extra time for them to do things on their own as they are able. Children want to have the power to make some choices. Do you want to wear a red shirt or blue today? Do you want to brush your teeth first or brush your hair?
Be aware of your tone of voice. Am I yelling? What message am I sending my child? Kids want to know “Am I safe?” “Do you love me?”. Even in those moments of frustration, it’s our role as the adult is to be the calm.
At WWP, we want the underlying message of every communication to be “YOU ARE BELOVED!”. Families, we’re in this together!
CALMING TECHNIQUES - FOR KIDS & ADULTS
Sometimes we all get overwhelmed with big feelings. Here are some calming techniques that our Parent Connect group came up with for grownups and for little ones.
Take care of your basic needs
Take deep breaths (more specifics below)
Drink water
Take a nap - lay down for 15 minutes
Have a healthful snack - protein, fruits, veggies
Move your body - stretch, take a walk/run
Sunshine (indoor “happy light”)
Mental health - therapy
Connect with yourself
How am I feeling right now?
Journal
Pray/ meditate - try a meditation app
Be creative - write a poem, play music, paint, knit, draw, build…
Connect with others
Call a friend
Meet for a walk/ playdate
Nurture relationships within a community, like in a faith-based community or neighborhood
Connect with nature
Garden/ have indoor plants
Pause to watch the sun rise or set
Notice the nature around you
Listen to the birds, water flowing, play meditative music
Pet a dog, cat
Ms. Ann’s dog, Daisy
More ideas for kids (and grown ups):
Comfort item - blanket, stuffed animal, etc.
Draw an angry/happy/sad picture
Take a break - be by oneself for a while, look at a book
Cuddle, rocking chair
Sensory input - “Do you need a tight squeeze?”, play with playdough, water, sand
Taking deep breaths
5 finger breaths - run one finger up and down the fingers on your other hand slowly taking a breath in as you go up the finger and blow out slowly as your finger goes down.
Blow bubbles
Blow a pinwheel
Make a breathing wand - see below
Made with toilet paper tubes and curly ribbon or streamers.
Here are some ways that we “take a break” and calm our bodies at preschool.
Exploring Kindergartens
Pre-K Families,
It’s time to explore options for Kindergarten for your child!
Minneapolis Public Schools - Free
Here's the link to the Minneapolis Public Schools Website to learn more.
There are options to choose from: your neighborhood community school and magnet schools which focus on various interests or learning styles (ex. language, arts, STEM science technology engineering math, Montessori, World school).
Minneapolis Timeline:
Beginning mid-November 2023: Explore options
Visit the website to learn more
Go tour schools
January 31, 2024: Due date to be included in the first school request lottery.
March 31, 2024: Due date to be included in the second school request lottery.
May 2024: Register at your school
Charter Schools - Free
Charter schools receive government funding but operate independently of the established local public school system. Here's a link to a directory of charter schools.
Private Christian School Options - Tuition, scholarships available
Hope Academy 2300 Chicago Ave. S. Minneapolis
Minnehaha Academy 4200 West River Parkway Minneapolis
If you don’t live in Minneapolis, please check your local school district’s website for options and timelines for enrolling.
We are happy to walk alongside you in this transition. Please see Ms. Ann if you need any advice.
Early Childhood Screening If you haven’t already, please have your child screened before Kindergarten. For Minneapolis: 612-668-3715 screen@mpls.k12.mn.us
Supporting Emotional Development
“When little people are overwhelmed with big emotions, it’s our job to share our calm not join their chaos.” ~ L.R. Knost
In early childhood, children are learning to:
Recognize and describe their own emotions “I’m frustrated!” “I’m happy!”
Show some understanding of others’ emotional expressions. A two year old may say “sad” when another child is crying.
Begin to understand the cause and effect around emotional reactions. If I knock over someone’s block tower, they get mad.
Use a variety of self-comforting behaviors and calms self when feeling strong emotions with some adult help, such as hug a stuffed animal or blanket, take deep breaths, ask for a hug.
What we can do to help support children’s emotional development? Some ideas:
Help children to name their emotions, using even more complex words as they get older. “You look upset/ frustrated/ overwhelmed. Tell me about it.”
Help your child recognize other people’s emotions. As you read books with your child, look at the pictures and talk about what the characters must be feeling and why.
It’s ok to sit with one’s feelings for awhile. Reassure your child that it’s ok to be feeling sad/worried/overwhelmed. What’s important, is what do we do with those feelings.
Help your child work through their emotions and calm their bodies (self regulate). Some ideas: a big hug, taking deep breaths, stomp your feet, draw an angry/happy/sad picture, be by oneself for awhile, look at a book, play with playdough.
If there’s a conflict, help your child use words to solve the problem. “When you did ____, it made me feel ___, let’s try ____ instead.” Model conflict resolution too.
When we’re tired, hungry, thirsty, stressed, etc., we all get easily upset. Help your child listen to what their body needs. “I see that you are getting frustrated quickly. I’m wondering if your tummy is hungry.”
Do what you need to do to stay calm too, take deep breaths, have a drink of water, listen to calming music, sing a lullaby, call someone to talk about it. Share your calm with your child!
More Resources:
"Building Social Emotional Skills at Home” from the National Assoc. for the Education of Young Children
BIG HELPERS - BIG JOBS
Mixing sweet potato pie at WWP!
“Young children love to help out, but many times we won’t let them. Why? Because we think it’s easier - and faster to do it ourselves. Your child might take 15 minutes to finish a job you can do in one minute. But in 15 minutes your child can learn a lot!” Read more: "Big Jobs at Home" from the National Association for the Education of Young Children
Ideas of how young children can be Big Helpers at Home, from our Parent Connect discussion:
washing the dishes - be ready with extra towels
cleaning the bathroom - again be ready with extra towels!
each child in the family has their own special sponge (that they picked out) to clean with
setting and clearing the table for meals
putting away the silverware from the dishwasher - great matching activity
matching socks
helping to change the sheets - it’s fun to make a parachute with the sheets and jump on the bed too!
What other ways do your little ones help?